Things I’m learning from my new boss: two women riding in the same car is sexy.

0 notes

(Source: thesimpsonswayoflife, via princesspukerella)

1,046 notes

dreamdoom:

ecclesitrashtes:

shrieking-affliction:

Diogenes was the shit.  He was easily one of the best philosophers ever.  He made himself the least wealthy person, hence living in a “Barrel”.  He also, upon seeing a child drinking from a river with his hands, smashed his only wooden bowl claiming to be “Bested by a child”.  He did public stunts to make a point towards customs and norms including eating in the marketplace in Athens which was generally not acceptable.  When Plato described humans as “Featherless Bipeds” he plucked a chicken and brought it to him, saying “here’s your man”.  Plato changed that description to “Featherless bipeds with arms”.  And here’s where it gets real.Diogenes the Cynic became well known all over.  In fact, Alexander the great, the one man who could have anyone killed just because, went out of his way to find him.  Upon meeting Diogenes, whom was laying on the ground, he said something to the extent of “Ah, the great Diogenes!  Is there anything that I, Alexander the Great, can do you?”.  Diogenes’ response was a crude “Yes, Get out of my sunlight.”But, however, Alexander came back another time, to find Diogenes sifting through a pile of bones.  Alex inquired “Diogenes, what are you doing sifting through that pile of bones?” Diogenes the Cynic responded “I’m trying to distinguish between the bones of your father, and that of a slave.  I cannot tell the difference.”  An insult that any man would want the other beheaded for indeed.  But no, not Alexander.  Alexander went on to later say that if he were not Alexander the Great, he would wish to be Diogenes.Dude’s a motherfuckingbadass.

Diogenes also said if he were not Diogenes he would wish to be Diogenes. And he shit in a theatre.

He fled from Sinope after being caught forging coins.
He was sold into slavery and when a buyer asked what was his skill, he said “governing men”, then the master bought him and set him free not long after.
Outside of a brothel he was yelling about how prostitutes were venomous, and also as sweet as honey, and ridiculing the men going inside. Someone gave Diogenes money to shut up, then he went inside the brothel. Also when someone asked him about his public masturbation he replied “if only I could cure my hunger by rubbing my belly”

dreamdoom:

ecclesitrashtes:

shrieking-affliction:

Diogenes was the shit.  He was easily one of the best philosophers ever.  He made himself the least wealthy person, hence living in a “Barrel”.  He also, upon seeing a child drinking from a river with his hands, smashed his only wooden bowl claiming to be “Bested by a child”.  He did public stunts to make a point towards customs and norms including eating in the marketplace in Athens which was generally not acceptable.  When Plato described humans as “Featherless Bipeds” he plucked a chicken and brought it to him, saying “here’s your man”.  Plato changed that description to “Featherless bipeds with arms”.  

And here’s where it gets real.

Diogenes the Cynic became well known all over.  In fact, Alexander the great, the one man who could have anyone killed just because, went out of his way to find him.  Upon meeting Diogenes, whom was laying on the ground, he said something to the extent of “Ah, the great Diogenes!  Is there anything that I, Alexander the Great, can do you?”.  Diogenes’ response was a crude “Yes, Get out of my sunlight.”

But, however, Alexander came back another time, to find Diogenes sifting through a pile of bones.  Alex inquired “Diogenes, what are you doing sifting through that pile of bones?” Diogenes the Cynic responded “I’m trying to distinguish between the bones of your father, and that of a slave.  I cannot tell the difference.”  An insult that any man would want the other beheaded for indeed.  But no, not Alexander.  

Alexander went on to later say that if he were not Alexander the Great, he would wish to be Diogenes.

Dude’s a motherfuckingbadass.

Diogenes also said if he were not Diogenes he would wish to be Diogenes. And he shit in a theatre.

He fled from Sinope after being caught forging coins.

He was sold into slavery and when a buyer asked what was his skill, he said “governing men”, then the master bought him and set him free not long after.

Outside of a brothel he was yelling about how prostitutes were venomous, and also as sweet as honey, and ridiculing the men going inside. Someone gave Diogenes money to shut up, then he went inside the brothel.

Also when someone asked him about his public masturbation he replied “if only I could cure my hunger by rubbing my belly”

(Source: stickyembraces, via bbalgangyi)

32,905 notes

madness-and-gods:

A wonderful bunch of bears


I think I’ll get a bears in trees calendar next year

madness-and-gods:

A wonderful bunch of bears

I think I’ll get a bears in trees calendar next year

(via v3gg13saurusr3x)

15,823 notes

The nice guy who towed my car came back into the car shop to say “alright I’ll be seeing you. Good luck,” but I thought he said “you know I can see you. Good luck.” So I just stared at him weird for like a minute and then it hit me what he actually said so I was like “okay bye thank you” but it came out in a slightly scared/traumatized voice and why does anyone let me talk to people

(Source: fyspringfield.com, via tramampoline-trambopoline)

2,655 notes

grey-knight:

mindsuckr:

Source

I can’t stop laughing

(via amorphousblob)

50,372 notes

fuckyeahfeminists:

think-progress:

policymic:

Watch: Snickers’ construction worker ad isn’t really respectful to women

"What happens when you’re hungry? You’re not you."

That’s the message Snickers wants you to come away with after watching their new advertisement airing in Australia. And just so we’re clear, in Snickers’ world, “you” doesn’t mean acting like your unique and special self. It’s synonymous with being a sexist goober to every vagina-owning human that comes within your vicinity — because that’s apparently how you sell chocolate to men in the 21st century.

Read moreFollow policymic

Snickers thought this was a good idea? 

wat.

….

1,131 notes

nevver:

Hi?

nevver:

Hi?

(via fybears)

1,526 notes

fyspringfield:

fyspringfield:

The giveaway would not have happened without all the supporters of FYSNNY.storenvy.com!

PS. This giveaway, like our others, is open to every country. 

2,660 notes

But how did I get black bean soup in my eye?

0 notes

This doctor is fixing all of these pokemon injuries with puns and super glue.

0 notes

humansofnewyork:

"What do you want to be when you grow up?""Something that’s sort of interesting, not too hard, and pays pretty well."

humansofnewyork:

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"Something that’s sort of interesting, not too hard, and pays pretty well."

4,190 notes

springfield-vs-shelbyville:

Damn clogs.

(via thesimpsonsforever)

267 notes

pokemoncap:

Ash i really dont think you understand the definition of paralyzed

(via another-pokemon-kid)

59,114 notes